Lincoln NE (SN) – With the primary election out of the way, Nebraskans may once again shed their political passions and return to bitching about just about everything else on the internet. The campaigns are on the wayside for now, but the campaign yard signs will remain.
An agreement was made on both sides of the political aisle early Thursday morning that it would be easiest for everyone involved if all of the campaign signs stayed in people’s lawns so they can be used for each respected candidate’s re-election campaign.
“It is environmentally friendly to re-use the signs, plus when I have to again run unopposed for Attorney General in four years I’m going to save a pretty big chunk of change.” said Democratic Attorney General candidate Evangelos Argyrakis, who is now lucky enough to start adding general election yard signs into the mix.
Saving money and our planet, not to mention time wasted by volunteers, but what if someone moves? Republican Incumbent Don Bacon (U.S. House District 2) had all of the answers.
“As far as I see it once my yard sign staked into a property in 2016 I called dibs on it.” Bacon told reporters. “If you don’t believe in the political leanings of a house you can just live somewhere else. That is how the free market works you fucking snowflakes.”
Among the yard sign agreement, all campaigns also promised to halt all political campaign advertisements on television for six months. The concerns have been alleviated of 62 year-old Nebraskans that still watch cable television.