Atlanta GA (SN) – Like a heavy set sixty-eight year old man arriving home from a night full of jalapeno poppers, a pint of spinach artichoke dip, and seventeen 20 oz Coor’s Banquet beers from Applebee’s, the very franchise in play may be finding themselves “belly up.”
It turns out that piling shrimp scampi on a steak doesn’t pay the bills.
Yesterday, Atlanta-based RMH Franchise holdings filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. The company is responsible for 163 Applebee’s locations including Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Missouri, Mississippi, Nebraska, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Texas and Wyoming.
RMH spokeswoman Robin Jenkins told Smell Nebraska reporters that no restaurants are expected to be closing during the bankruptcy reorganization, but did offer her own take on things.
“2 for $20 surf and turf meals? ONE DOLLAR Long Island iced teas?” Robin said. “It is no wonder we are [between $100 million and $500 million] in debt!”
Jenkins added that business has been declining for “a long time,” blaming former President Barack Obama’s agenda and the Millennial’s entitled desire for food that doesn’t look like microwave prison food, noting that the franchise had been attempting to save money every way that they could for years.
“Do you remember when Applebee’s locations had those rusty tricycles, accordions, and other stupid shit decoratively strewn about? A few years ago during a re-branding we had those American Pickers guys from TV “appraise” all of it.” the spokeswoman told reporters. “They totally fucked us. They low-balled our offer, we desperately accepted, and they made millions selling it to Cracker Barrel. I could really go for a $2 Dos Equis right now.”
Head down to your neighborhood Applebee’s for a $2 Dos Equis, offer valid for the entire month of May.