Lincoln NE (SN) – Monday night local audiences at Duffy’s were left speechless when local amateur comedian Larry Russell, 38, told a joke that didn’t involve anything about what an ugly loser he was or how he sometimes enjoyed recreational marijuana use.
Russell started his 5 minute routine with a joke about his cat trying to get in the dryer, completely ignoring the fact that his body is shaped like a rotting pear with some baby doll arms stuck to each side. Audiences nervously chuckled at the kitten’s hijinx, while Russell glossed over the fact that he hasn’t held a full time job since blockbuster video closed and still lives in the basement of his step dad’s house.
Fellow workshop comedian Danny Farquar weighed in on the performance. “It was ok. I mean, the cat thing was kind of like a joke, more like a story though. Probably should have told them about the time the two of us went to the quick trip and we were so high that we thought it was a good idea to mix EVERY kind of fountain drink in a 64 oz. to go cup and then see who could drink it all the fastest. Now THAT was hilarious!”
Russell finished his comedy whirlwind with the climax to the cat story, when he had to refold all the laundry because the cat knocked it over or something. Larry completely forgot to mention that he hadn’t been touched by a woman in over 15 years, and the last time was just a pity hand job anyway, since his dad just died and the girl felt sorry for him. She was sort of a slut too.
When it was over audiences were left in shock. They wondered why he didn’t relate his face to some sort of beady eyed lizard, or his posture to that of E.T. the extra terrestrial. When Russell finished there was a few seconds of silence, as the audience tried to rationalize how Russell could go 5 whole minutes without taking about weed when his frayed tie dyed shirt obviously showed he loved to smoke the ganja, but couldn’t afford a shirt made in this century. Polite but confused applause ensued as Russell took a literal bow and left the stage.
When reached for comment Russell was elated by his performance. “I thought that went great. I’m thinking about moving to Chicago or Austin in the next 6 months to pursue my comedy career. I think i have what it takes.”
Russell left Duffy’s immediately afterwards to go home and read his manga comic books.