music, TLDRsdays

Walmart Employees Tired of Hopeful Musicians Performing in the Store

Omaha NE (SN) – Walmart employees are sick and tired of the parade of musicians performing in their store. Spurred on by the recent success of “Yodeling Boy,” hundreds of wanna-be musicians have flocked to Walmart to record their talents and try to make it big. Yodeling Boy, whose real name is Mason Ramsey, recently became famous when a cell phone video of him performing in a South Illinois Walmart went viral. In less than 2 weeks he went from singing in a Walmart to performing at Coachella. Other musicians hope to follow suit.

“We’ve had all kinds of acts in here,” explains store manager Craig Gamble, “singers, a banjo guy, a cello player, one of those guys that plays spoons, and Irish dance troupe, some guy with just a washboard, and of course, Orion Walsh. They think if they make it here, in Walmart, they will be headlining Lollapalooza next week. I have to tell them it ain’t gonna happen, and I also have to tell them that they are going to have to check out at number 7 since Tammy is going on break soon.”

Martin Rodriguez, a shopper from Bellevue hoping for his big break.

It’s like “America’s Got Talent” in here but none of these idiots have any talent,” says cashier Cindy Johnson. I don’t know why, but every rapper in town has been wilin’ out over in the frozen food section all week. They love jumping up on the freezers and taking their shirts off and mumble rapping. They are helping themselves to all the Robitussin over in the pharmacy. It’s the worst.

Store manager Craig Gamble would have to disagree. “The worst one yet was a 12 piece ska band that decided to set up and play in home furnishings. It was so bad I had to call in a bomb threat just to get everyone out of there.”

The recent trend has caught the eye of the major record labels, as there are reports they have dispatched A&R reps to every Walmart, hoping to find the next big thing before anyone else does. “Yeah those guys are around now too,” says cashier Johnson. “We got all these douchebags in here talking about how they heard the new Shinedown album before anyone else, and they saw Kanye West at and industry party one time and gave him a high five. I don’t care. Just put your card in the chip reader and move on please.”

Click HERE to see the stupid yodel kid.

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