bullying, sports n snorts

Richie Incognito to Offer Pro-Bullying Workshops for Future Generations of Bullies

Buffalo NY (SN) – Richie Ingonito, Pro football player for the Buffalo Bills and former Nebraska Cornhusker, has teamed up with the United Way to offer seminars to help the spread of bullying across our country.

“Bullying is a big issue for the young people of our nation,” says United Way spokesperson Denise Frazier. “We are delighted that Mr. Incognito has teamed with The United Way to spread his message across the country. Off the record, he sort of forced us into doing this. He said he would give us all titty twisters and fuck our moms if we didn’t agree to let him do this. We didn’t really have a choice.”

Mr. Incognito will be the main speaker at workshops across the country, teaching young bullies different tips and techniques that will help them bully their weaker peers more efficiently. Topics include bullying methods such as non-visible physical harm, hurtful nicknames, isolation techniques, racial taunts, and proper swirly form.

“Bullying is not just a hobby, it’s a lifestyle,” says Incognito. “You have to be a bully 24/7 for it to be effective. If your victim sees you take a play off, they can use that against you. Kids these days are being too soft, caring for other people, lots of pussy ass shit. I’m here to make sure that stops.”

Incognito backing the Commander-in-bullying.

“It doesn’t matter how big or small you are, anyone can be a bully, although, 90% of the time bullies are the kids that got their growth spurts first and lacked any parental guidance. You can be a typical 6-foot-tall 12-year-old and put headlocks on all the little twerps, or you can be an 80-pound teenage girl and tease your sea cow classmate into an eating disorder. Anything is possible in bullying and that’s what I’m here for.”

Richie Incognito recently made headlines when one of his former victims, Jonathon Martin, posted a threatening message on Instagram, tagging Incognito and others and inferring Martin would commit murder or suicide. “That was awesome. That little cunt was crying online and HE got arrested for it. How could I have planned it any better? What a bitch. I’m gonna fuck his sister when I get to her town.”

Incognito’s workshops will be coming to 25 cities this summer, and what are you going to do about it? That’s what I thought. Incognito’s last words for those unsure if they should get into bullying, “Remember, if you don’t bully, who will?”

For those of you who forgot what a terrible person Richie Incognito is, HERE is a rundown of the Jonathon Martin investigation.


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