Wes Scantlin of Puddle of Mudd Plays a Tragically Sober Set at the Bourbon Lounge

“It was a real bummer man,” said concert goer Marvin Skakeley of Council Bluffs IA. “It was like he remembered most of the chords and the words. He seemed to know where he was and what he was doing. It totally sucked.”

Scantlin arrived on stage as a true rockstar and took “control” during the first song, “Control,” and never let up through the entire one hour and 20 minute-long set, which sent the crowd into a chorus of boos.

“He never once made one weird face where it looked like is mouth was being held back with masking tape,” Said Skakeley. “You know, the one where he is almost hiding his teeth but still trying to sing? Like when you are trying to take silly pics on your phone with your niece and you try to squint and squinch your face so much you look like an old mummy? That’s what I came to see.”

Fellow concert goer Mike Rickert of Council Bluffs, IA echoed his friends’ sentiment. “I came here fully expecting to see him sit on a stool and try to squeak out the words just by forcing air out of his mouth and letting the crowd sing all of the choruses. Unfortunately that didn’t happen at all. No band member even walked off stage once! I want a refund.

The full capacity crowd was visibly upset at the turn of events. At the onset every concert goer had their cell phone camera ready to record some sort of drug fueled melt down, but halfway through the show, most had dejectedly put their phones away and many others had left.

Carl Cragford from Council Bluffs, IA was visibly despondent. I was hoping they would play my favorite song, “We don’t have to look back now,” and Wes would go “Wheeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeee heeeeee!” like my dead grandpa used to when he didn’t have his oxygen tank turned up high enough. But he, like, actually sang the right words on key and shit.

Scantlin’s domination and mastery of the microphone didn’t stop all night. On their hit song “Blurry,” Scanlin nailed the difficult guitar harmonics himself and was pitch perfect on the choruses. On this night he proved his worth as one of the great frontmen of rock and roll.

Cindy Thompson of Council Bluffs, IA was beside herself with frustration, “What the fuck is he doing? Did he do any drugs today? We are here to see a human being hit a drug-induced rock bottom in front of hundreds of people and then make fun of him for it. That’s why we are [Puddle of] Mudd fans. Not to listen to this bullshit.

You can catch Puddle of Mudd’s next scheduled show in the area on August 27th in the gazebo area of the Sarpy County Fair.