Sports ‘n Snorts |
Lincoln NE (SN) – For the 4th time in an hour, Fiserv employee Michael Burton tried to start a conversation about his NCAA tournament bracket with an uninterested co-worker.
“He just fucking stands there in my cubicle looking at me until I stop what I’m doing and ask him ‘what’s up?’,” says technical support rep Claire Robinson. “‘Do you got your bracket filled out yet Claire?’ No Mike, I don’t care about basketball. Don’t you have some clients to talk to or something? Because I do.”
Security cameras showed Burton attempted at least 15 futile basketball conversations with pre-occupied co-workers before finally discovering a group of male co-workers sitting down for lunch, who at least seemed interested in what he had to say.
“Yeah, Mike has some interesting picks,” chuckled project manager Tom Stallings. “His bracket was like, all upsets. He’s got St. Bonaventure in the final four. I don’t even know what that is. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t either.”
Software engineer Craig Monroe also laughed at Burton’s bracket entries. “We let him submit as many brackets as he wants in our pool. At 5 bucks a pop it’s easy money. He thinks he knows sports but he has no idea. It’s great. Loyola Chicago beating Miami? Yeah right. What a fucking idiot.”
The cameras showed Burton spent his afternoon filling out more brackets and tweaking others that he already filled out online. Smell Nebraska caught up to Burton has he was leaving for the day.
“I’m pretty stoked. I have 20 brackets filled out and I’m going to watch all the games. I’ll have games on my desktop, laptop, and my phone. I’ll see everything. Got St. Bonaventure going to the Final Four. That’s my team. What’s your bracket look like? Don’t sleep on Georgia State. Mark my words.”
Burton’s supervisor was asked about Burton’s job responsibilities but was unable to come up with an answer as to what Burton actually did at Fiserv.