featured, feminism, politics, Uncategorized, womens march

Local Man Finally Gets Woman to Touch Him With “PC Feminist Justice Warrior Persona” Ruse

Lincoln NE (SN) – Feminist and social media warrior, Benjamin Barber achieved his ultimate goal Wednesday night when he finally made physical contact with a woman for the first time in his life as he bragged about attending a rally in January.

The woman, who requested to remain nameless, contacted SmellNebraska prior to the event to discuss the details.

“[Ben] had been all over women’s causes for years now, and completely saturated his social media accounts with smears against his misogynist male colleagues to try and meet women,” she said. “We appreciate his help and gusto, but sometimes it just didn’t seem genuine.”

The source noted that Barber had, on many occasions, offered to hold doors open for women, only to slam them closed, demanding that they can do anything a man can.

Upon having the door opened for him Barber would proceed through the doorway and yell, “Hey, mister! Get off my sister!”

“He wore a sandwich board in the money-hemorrhaging Railyard district one night that said ‘Free Back-rubs For Feminists.’ That was a red flag,” the source said.

Benjamin Barber at the Woman’s March in 2017.

After talking with friends, the source concluded an end to Barber’s intrusion in their community could be be done “diplomatically.”

“I approached him as an avid Sylvia Plath reader/Neo-socialist,” she said. “As I was easing into my probe of his intentions by thanking him for attending the Women’s March in January, that piece of shit grabbed me and started shoving his tongue in my mouth.”

“It didn’t take more than a fraction of a second,” she admitted. “I punched him in the fucking face. I knocked him out cold and ran to the nearest bar [The “O” Street Watering Hole] to wash the taste of neck beard out of my mouth. Apparently that bar had moved to the Lancaster County Jail, so I had to go to O’Rourke’s Tavern where I was judged viciously for walking straight to the bathroom without ordering anything and later yelled at for trying to make up for it by ordering a vodka tonic.

Barber has not been approached for comment and has not been seen at any women’s protest events since the incident.

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