Lincoln NE (SN) – Citing a growing need in the community, Centerpointe has started a treatment program for the five guys who post in the Lincoln Journalstar.com comment section everyday.
“We feel like this is necessary in our community at this time,” reports Centerpointe Director Cindy Swanson. “These are broken, hurting individuals who need help. They think that posting their opinions at the bottom of local news articles will somehow affect change. These poor souls are so lost. Their families have given up on them long ago. This treatment program might be the last hope they have of a normal life. We think we can help them.”
The American Psychiatric Association DSM-V classifies “Local Newspaper Message Board Abuse Disorder” as a two (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 6-month period: (1) delusions (2) hallucinations (3) disorganized speech (e.g., frequent derailment or incoherence (4) grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior (5) posting on a website comment section more than once in a 24 hour time period.
“These men have been thrown away by society. Most are divorced and their kids, (if they ever had any) can’t stand them either. They have nothing else to do with their time but complain and argue with each other online. Even though these men have no friends and no one to talk to, we fear that this behavior will corrupt others and lead to a bigger problem,” says Swanson. “Our treatment plan involves education, behavioral changes, and reintegration back into society. Most of these individuals don’t realize what they are doing is pointless and they are just hurting themselves. Once they see that no one cares what they think about the newest city council decision, or a new police policy, maybe they will stop typing every insane thought they have into their computer.”
Swanson continues: “After our education process is finished, we will try to coax these gentlemen out of their basement apartments and into the real world. Perhaps we can get them to volunteer at the city mission or some other charity? We can show them proper ways to actually accomplish change in our community, instead of just typing random gibberish into the vapid expanse of the internet.”
We asked a frequent poster, James McDonald, if he thought it could work. “Which country is expected to be the policeman and counter terrorist military of the world? This is the price paid for those, especially progressives, who are complaining about the US no longer being the leader of the world.”
Another frequent poster, Steve Hanneman, had this to say when asked if we would take this gift of treatment: “All the money comes from our pockets, the taxpayers. If the city sells for a lowball price, it means the city will have less money for whatever they need it for (more taxes for us). If UNL pays a hefty price for it, it will mean they need more tax from the state (comes from us, again). It’s a lose lose proposition for us.”
There is certainly a long road ahead for these poor people.
If you or someone you know is fighting the urge to post in an online newspaper comment section or give a fake news blog a 1 star rating, please seek help immediately.