Local Businessman Still Searching for Close Friend to Stab in the Back

Lincoln NE (SN) – The papers have been signed and the hands have been shaken, there is just one thing left for Levi Boondock to do, find a business partner that he can stab in the back.

“It’s been hard, real hard.” It’s been difficult finding someone gullible enough to trust Boondock and go into business with him. “For some reason no one wants to go in on this with me. Can’t figure out why. I’ve called almost everyone I know, offering to get them in on the ground floor of a great business venture, but the calls always go to voice mail and no one calls me back.”

Boondock is hoping to open his second failed business this spring. He recently purchased the famed Grand Ballroom west of town. “This place has been a successful music venue for over 6 decades. I’m positive I can run the place into the ground within 2 or 3 years.”

Levi plans to keep the original decor of the Grand Ballroom, mostly due to lack of funds. “We will tell people it’s to keep the authentic atmosphere of the original venue, or whatever, but it’s really because all my money is tied up into my other failed endeavors and I’m broke.”

Broke, but not broken.

Boondock is excited to get the venue off the ground. He plans on booking live music, mostly cover bands, to fill the calendar. “I figure cover bands have at least 6 or 7 members. If each member guilt trips just 3 of their friends to show up, BOOM! That’s 20 people right there.”

As of press time Boondock had settled on his brother Jethro for a business partner. “I guess he will do for now, although he doesn’t have much money i could take, a public persona i could tarnish, or even a girlfriend i could steal. I’ll just keep hoping some other doofus with money comes along and falls off the turnip truck.”

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