Downtown Lincoln NE (SN) – On the eve of her 28th birthday, Maria Jensen was out with friends and family to celebrate and mingle. Their first stop was Duffy’s, a popular night club in downtown Lincoln featuring live music, surly bartenders, and a fishbowl full of sugary, gut-rotting cocktails. Next stop was Iguanas and the group imbibed another few gulps of sugar served via the bar’s popular ‘frog sperm’ shots and a few fist fulls of popcorn. Next, the group wandered to Sandy’s, a downtown college hotspot, for a pitcher of Elk Creek Water.
“I barely saw it coming,” said friend Amanda Taylor. “I turned to get Maria’s attention and got hit in the face with a mountain of fishbowl barf.”
Taylor, a nursing student, said she wasn’t expecting to get soaked in puke at her friend’s birthday outing, but shrugged it off because of Elk Creek Water’s ability to make people vomit uncontrollably.
“I knew it was Maria, because when I looked at my shirt I saw a fully deconstructed OSO burrito,” Taylor said. “She totally had a burrito before coming out. And honestly, if I chugged a gallon of peach schnapps with a beer chaser I’d be barfing down people’s shirts too.”
According to Taylor, Jensen had ingested almost an entire pitcher of Elk Creek Water by herself, despite many reminders from bartenders that ‘one cannot simply drink from the pitcher.’
All told, 4 people were sprayed with what regular visitors to Sandy’s call ‘downtown chuck,’ and a bartender was dispensed with kitty litter to clean up the mess.
Her vomit covered companions ordered her an Uber and sent her home for safe keeping. She dry heaved a few times on the way and was awarded a one star rating.