Lincoln NE (SN) – Things got out of control Friday at the legendary Zoo Bar just as twelve piece blues ensemble “The Jetfighter” took a five minute break in between B.B. King covers.
“I’ve been going to these FAC events for years,” local blues fan Joel Schumer shrugged. “The space between the stage and the men’s room is tight, so you usually lean on the wall next to the door and in 90 seconds or so, it is your turn to pee.”
Not so, Friday night.
During the live music break, chaos ensued when it was suddenly discovered that Bill Kenvis of local blues band “The Rotators,” was using the Zoo Bar men’s room to take a number two.
“Before I knew it, a clusterfuck of dudes were approaching the men’s room,” said bartender Otto Meza. “One guy had to crawl up on the stage because there was no room beside the stage. He knocked over Carl’s (from The Jetfighter) tenor sax. It was a horrible mess.”
Local legend dictates that only two other human beings have pooped at the historic blues venue: Rodney Spider, and Rob Riedy. Both number two’s were said to have been taken after hours.
The Zoo Bar men’s room was rated #2 on Ranker.com’s internet poll, “Worst Places to Poop, Ever. Seriously.” The ranking was eclipsed only by the men’s room at Kirby’s Beer Store in Wichita, Kansas. Oddly, the Zoo Bar’s men’s room was also rated #6 by the same website in a poll registering favorite blues venue men’s rooms to pee in a sink.
Kenvis has not released a statement but the Blues outfit hopes this unique factoid is what the band needs to stand out in an otherwise oversaturated Friday afternoon Blues scene.
All of us at SmellNebraska would like to honor the first ever Zoo-Pooper, Rodney Spider. Rest in peace, friend. You will always be number one (at number two.)