weather alerts

Meteorologists Warn There Could Be Weather in Nebraska as Early as This Morning

Omaha NE (SN) - Record high temperatures, extreme rainfall, heavy wind, lightning events, and blizzard conditions are all getting their turn in this Nebraska autumn season, leaving meteorologists scratching their heads. "We're just going to start making shit up at this point" admitted Omaha meteorologist Carla Shea-Simonds. "Honestly I don't even have any other options. The… Continue reading Meteorologists Warn There Could Be Weather in Nebraska as Early as This Morning

road rage, traffic report

Entirety of 27th Street Lincoln to Be Reduced to a Single Lane Construction Zone Forever

Lincoln NE (SN) - Lincoln road workers have been busy on many of the city's major arteries of commute for months, resulting in a slew of complaints about slow traffic, and Lincoln city officials wondering if the progress should stay permanent to avoid backlash. "I guess their reasoning is, if it stays shitty forever, it… Continue reading Entirety of 27th Street Lincoln to Be Reduced to a Single Lane Construction Zone Forever

From the editor, Slow Nuesday

Complete Idiots Think Our Articles Are Real – Here’s How You Can Help

Did you know that every time you "Like" one of our Instagram photos, Facebook posts, or Twitter Tweets, a loving warmth rushes over our the editorial staff? Suddenly all of their hard work wasn't for nothing, and the post-lunch slump of their shift at Nelnet is just a little less shitty as fuck. Did you… Continue reading Complete Idiots Think Our Articles Are Real – Here’s How You Can Help

politics, poop

Eastridge Pool Pooper Revealed to be Senator Deb Fischer

Lincoln NE (SN) - It seems that Senator Deb Fischer (R-NE) has been making some shitty decisions lately, including public defecation. Fischer was identified by LPD a little over two weeks after the Eastridge Pool in Lincoln shared some surveillance footage of the notorious "pool pooper" on their Facebook page. "We are happy the mystery… Continue reading Eastridge Pool Pooper Revealed to be Senator Deb Fischer

real estate, white people

Developers Plant 76 Million Dollar “Magic Beans” on Corner of 9th and O

Lincoln NE (SN) - Early last week the development group working to erect the luxury hotel tower on the corner of 9th and O street announced they would be scrapping the entire project for a "smaller project." Smell Nebraska sat down with John Klimpel of Lincoln Hotel Group to discuss the sudden change of plans.… Continue reading Developers Plant 76 Million Dollar “Magic Beans” on Corner of 9th and O

sports n snorts, the paranormal

2018 Husker Team Cursed by 300 Year Old Local Witch

Lincoln NE (SN) - The 300 year old witch who lives under Memorial Stadium has confessed to putting a curse on the Husker football team. At a press conference held near the woolly mammoth statue in front of Morrill Hall, Cornelva made her wicked plot known. “The Nebraska Cornhuskers will indeed fall prey to hype… Continue reading 2018 Husker Team Cursed by 300 Year Old Local Witch

cars! cars! cars!, local government

Former Lancaster County Treasurer Andy Stebbing Set To Open “Crazy Andy’s” Used Car Lot

Lincoln NE (SN) - Former Lancaster county treasurer Andy Stebbing is set to open “Crazy Andy’s” used car sales at 23rd and P. With his days in politics now behind him, Stebbing is excited to begin the next chapter in his life. “What is it going to take to get you in one of these… Continue reading Former Lancaster County Treasurer Andy Stebbing Set To Open “Crazy Andy’s” Used Car Lot